The week that we stayed there had a swell that pumping out clean offshore condition waves easily overhead with a few double overhead monsters that scared the hell out of me when I was on the outside break at a place called Popoyo. Overhead out here and overhead on the east coast where the waves arent nearly as heavy are like apples and oranges. Even the locals were surprised at how big it was.

I finally decided I had to try and ride one if I was ever going to make it back to the beach in one piece and the longer I was waiting the worse my anxiety was getting. So, like an idiot, I pick the first wave of an overhead set, surprise myself that I was able to paddle in and ride it for a little bit, but instead of staying on as long as possible to make it far enough in so that the following waves would be the shit out of me, I kicked out too early and wound up on the inside.

In no time, another one just beat me down right on my head, shoved me to the bottom and the darkness, flipping me around like a rag doll. Now here is why my lack of international/bigger wave experience killed me. More experienced guys would have just relaxed, taken the beaten, and held on to their board and made it in fairly easily.

I on the other hand immediately began to panic, wasting valuable lactic acid and letting fear overtake me. Each time I was barely able to make it to the surface, the lip of another bomb would be right there waiting. I was able to get no where and thought for sure I was going to drown. There was no one on the beach to call for help to and my friends were too far out to see what was going on.

Each time Id take as much air as I could, and then try and swim as far deep under the wave as I could because I didnt have time to reel my board in to get on it and use to help me float. By about the 5th wave, I could feel that I was starting to black out and was really freaking out. This is truly the difference too surviving in heavier waves aside from being a better surfer of course. I just lost it. Finally a lull in the swell came and I was able to get onto my board and paddle as hard as I could to the rocks where I knew I could make it in from there, even if I banged up me and my board. I got slammed against the rocks a few times and cut my feet and legs up but didnt care. I just sat there for about 10 minutes hugging the rock and thanking the powers that be that I didnt drown.

Needless to say, I didnt surf much more after that on that trip. I was out of my league for sure in Nicaragua. It was pretty embarassing. I would paddle out, and immediately anxiety would just overwhelm me and Id freak out and paddle back in before getting beat down again.

Its now almost been a year since the experience and, while it seems to be getting a little better, I still am not the same even at my local break. Its hard for me to go out on “big” days even on east coast standards and paddle past the outside break and leave the comfort of the sand bottom inside break where the waves are far inferior.

I know there have been lots of you guys out there with similar experiences and I guess thats how you become a better and smarter surfer, but does anyone have any tips on how to get over this and get my courage back?

Thx guys.

Great beginners website! Onward!